My Busiest Week of the Year

This week, I am managing my time.  I am focusing on what need to get done – one step at a time.

I could give into overwhelm.  It is my busiest week of the school year.  I have 3 finals for school and 2 Field Days for my students.  Months of learning and planning will culminate in a few, short hours.

It’s a lot… on top of my already full days.  In the past, I was like a ticking time bomb. People avoided me until after it was all over.

But, this year, I’ve managed my mind… and my time:

  • I ask others to help me when I need it… instead of trying to do it all myself.
  • In my 30 minute lunch, I am eating and studying… instead of Facebooking.
  • Sitting in the pick up line at my son’s school, I am listening to my audiobooks & classes… instead of playing Candy Crush.
  • While donating plasma, I am reading my textbook… instead of watching a movie.
  • I am creating Heat Sheets while my students are practicing for Field Day events… the list could go on & on.

I am managing my time – even those few minutes here and there.

Don’t get me wrong… I still have downtime.  Because, it is on my calendar – scheduled… because, it is important.  Everything that is important is on there.

I am getting more done in the same 24 hours I’ve always had, and I’m not stressing over it.

On Friday, I will take a moment (or two) to appreciate how it all came together… and that I didn’t give in to overwhelm, spiraling out of control.

It is going to feel amazing.

Addiction or Overdesire?

Have you ever wanted to not want to drink an entire bottle of wine?

Have you ever wanted to not want to eat the entire batch of homemade cookies?

Have you ever wanted to be able to eat just one slice of pizza?

Have you ever wanted to be able to drink just one glass of wine?

So many of us overeat or overdrink on a regular basis.

We are often overwhelmed with shame and guilt – hiding or justifying our actions.  I can’t help but wonder how many of us feel this way but aren’t willing to say it out loud. I’m certain you are not alone.

I want to offer a different perspective – one that gives you a chance to get back the control in your life. Instead of focusing on the symptoms, let’s look at the cause of overdrinking or overeating.

It is the concept of overdesire.

We often buffer our emotions with substances.  It is much easier to numb them than to deal with them.  

We increase our use over time which increases our desire.  Our cravings and urges become artificially inflated beyond our evolved ability to satisfy. When we try to cut back, it increases our desire by the withholding of it.  It feels like we are consuming against our own will or that we are out of control. Once we run out of willpower, we are right back to overconsuming.

The solution is to reduce the desire.  When that is gone, there will be no need for willpower to direct our behavior.

How do I reduce desire?

  1. Write a plan for your food or drinks.
  2. Commit to your plan.  Your reason to commit must be stronger than the urges you will encounter.
  3. Follow your plan no matter what.
  4. Be willing to feel the emotions that come up.
  5. Know you will fail at following your plan, but commit to never giving up.

If you keep doing the same things, you will keep getting the same results.

If you want a new result, you have to start taking different actions.  Imagine what your life could be like.

If you are ready to get control over your life, click here for a FREE Life Assessment.

(Note: If you believe you are addicted to a substance, using a substance hazardously or with negligence, please seek help.  The information in this blog is not intended for you.)

Out of Control

Does your life feel out of control?

Are you in charge of your life, or is life in charge of you?

There are so many things we want to control but can’t find the way.


  • How is my house always dirty?
  • My son’s coach plays favorites. My son is not one of them. Grr.
  • Why can’t these people drive the speed limit or get out of my way?
  • Why won’t my husband help out more?
  • Why are we always broke?
  • How can they afford to go on all those vacations?
  • Why am I the only person who can change out the toilet paper?
  • Don’t teachers know we have other things to do besides homework all night?
  • Why is my boss so critical?
  • Why aren’t my children more respectful and well behaved?
  • I never have enough time.

We get frustrated.

We get overwhelmed.

Instead of finding solutions, we just turn it all off.  We escape reality and comfort ourselves with pleasure.

  • We drink.
  • We shop.
  • We eat comfort foods.
  • We binge watch Netflix.
  • We scroll mindlessly through Facebook or achieve level 682 in Candy Crush.

We find comfort.  But, it is only temporary.  When we wake up in the morning, it is all there again… plus a few more pounds… or a nasty hangover… or any empty bank account… or a worn spot on the couch.  We do it all again.


How do I regain control of my life?

How do I get a different result at the end of my day?

If you keep doing the same things, you will keep getting the same results.

If you want a new result, you have to start taking different actions.  Imagine what your life could be like.

If you are ready to get control over your life, click here for a FREE Life Assessment.

The Teenager

Today, I was waiting in the car for my 15 year old daughter.  I had been waiting there for ten minutes (as usual). I was annoyed.

Doesn’t she know that is rude?

In church, she was standing next to me… arms crossed, looking half asleep, and non-responsive when I spoke to her.  I was irritated.

Doesn’t she know why we go here?

In a brief moment of passing in our busy lives, she gave me attitude and eye roll (not her father, mind you… just me).  I was miffed.

Doesn’t she know I was just trying to connect with her?

I texted her we needed to do her NHS application and AP exam registration when she got home.  When she arrived, she went to her room without saying a word to me. I was bothered.

Doesn’t she know she needs my help with that (or at least my credit card)?

At dinner, she pulled her phone out and stopped speaking to us.  I was irked.

Doesn’t she know that is unacceptable?

The list could go on… but, you get the idea.

Later that day, we were standing in a group of people talking, and I was watching her interacting with others.  She was kind, friendly, compassionate, smiling, interacting, and… my sweet girl.

See, she does know all of those things.  We have taught her well. That was our job.  Now, our job is to just love her… and let her go.  She is learning to find her own way. I don’t need to judge or micro-manage her.  I just need to love her… unconditionally… with all the good and the bad that comes with being human.

She is actually a pretty amazing individual if you ever get lucky enough to meet her.  You will think that I’m the crazy one… making up stuff about this beautiful, young woman.  Because, she gets it. She really does. She just needs to spread her wings, and that means pushing me out of her way for a while.  I’m okay with that.

The lesson for me… just love her.  All too soon, she will be gone. Besides, I can’t control those little things that bug me anyway.  Could I give her consequences? Absolutely. But, I think I’ll save that for the big stuff. For now, I’ll just be there when she does decide she needs my help.

Do you need help sorting through your relationship with your child?  Click here to talk to Angela.

My Year-end Review

Happy Birthday to Me!

I don’t normally reflect on my past.  What’s done is done.

I’m a forward momentum kinda girl.  But, this past year deserves a look back.

You see, this is the year I discovered Life Coaching.  It changed everything for me.

Most of the changes you can’t see.  They are on the inside.  But, you can feel them when you are around me.  I am full of happiness and hope, intent and focus.  I enjoy life every, single day.


Here are just a few things I have learned:

I can feel any emotion and be ok.  No emotion is too big. It is just a vibration in my body.

Overweight is caused by overeating which is caused by overhunger and overdesire.

My relationship with another person is all in my mind.  Their relationship with me is in theirs.

I can allow my desires unanswered without using willpower.

People pleasing = lying.  I don’t really want to do it, so I’m dishonest to say that I do.

Weight loss is 90% what I put in my mouth.

The low fat, low calorie, high exercise approach to losing weight doesn’t in the long run. The goal is to lower my insulin.

My past happened.  All I have now from it are my thoughts about it.   It doesn’t control my future.

It doesn’t matter if we all eat the same thing at dinner.

I no longer need to buffer my emotions with alcohol, food, or screen time.

Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.

I need to drop the “manuals” I have for other people.  They don’t follow them anyway.

I have found my purpose – to serve others by helping them achieve their goals.

I can love anyone unconditionally… especially myself.


If any of these resonated with you, just click here to ask me any questions you have. I’m here to help you reach your goals, too.


Emotions Revisited

We have discussed just exactly what emotions are in a previous blog.

Now, let’s look closer.

Every single thing we do in our lives is because of how we think it will make us feel…. or not feel.

Emotions are 50/50.  The goal is not to be happy all the time.  Sometimes, sadness is much more appropriate.

Sad makes happy exist.

Hate makes love exist.

When you resist an emotion, you make it worse.  Instead, allow it with compassion.

But, realize when you are in indulgent emotions: confusion, overwhelm, emotional exhaustion, worry, and boredom.  These emotions stop you from moving forward with action.

One of the best skills you can develop is feeling on purpose.

  1. What am I feeling right now? (Awareness)
  2. What does this feeling feel like specifically in my body? (Observer)
  3. What do I want to feel right now? (Being deliberate)
  4. How can I practice this feeling?

If you want to dive deeper, click here to sign up for my weekly email where we take another look at this week’s lesson.

The Woman in the Mirror

It is time to LOVE yourself… Unconditionally… Just as you are right now.

We are told focusing on ourselves is wrong.  It is selfish. It is egocentric. We are supposed to be here to serve others. But, accepting yourself AS YOU ARE RIGHT NOW is not a sin. Accepting and loving yourself will only make you better. It is called self-respect.

Think about it.

How can we authentically serve others if we can’t even serve ourselves?

You have to give yourself to serve others.  How are you showing up?

Why are you hiding from yourself? What is it you are trying to bury?

Now, I want you to imagine what you could give to others if you truly loved yourself.

It is the key to unlocking what you desire. When you unconditionally love yourself, everything else will fall into place. Take a look in the mirror.

Take a step back.  You don’t see the beauty in you that others do.  They love you so much. They LOVE that person in the mirror.

Why have you stopped looking in the mirror?  Stop hiding. The rest of your people already see you as you are. They love you exactly how you are – flaws and all.  It is time to find out what they love so much.

Take a long, hard look in the mirror; learn to LOVE unconditionally. Tell yourself every day how amazing your are.  Yes, it will feel strange. But, keep doing it until you start to believe yourself.

Seriously, what if every time you walked past a mirror, you truly loved who you saw?  How amazing would that feel?

Imagine, then, what you would then be able to give to others?

It will be amazing.

__________

If you want to dive deeper, click here to sign up for my weekly email where we take another look at this week’s lesson.

Sidelined

Are you in the game or sitting on the sidelines of your life?

The sideline is for resting and regrouping.

Then, it is time to get back in the game.

The sideline is a place to get help.

Then, it is time to get back in the game.

The sideline is a place for players who have been benched. The sidelines are full of them.

How long have you been sidelined?

It is time to get back in the game.

How can you make a difference on your team?

Goals

Have you made your goals for 2019?

No, I don’t mean the resolutions that so many have already quit on by now.  I mean your goals… what you are actually going to accomplish by the end of the year.

Either way, here is what you need to do.

  1. Write them down.
  2. Read them to yourself EVERY DAY. (You have to tell your brain what to focus on.  Otherwise, it will choose on it’s own. Supervise your brain.)
  3. Put your goals on 3×5 index cards, and read them at stoplights throughout the day.
  4. If you are into creativity, make a vision board.  Put it up where you will see it every day… like in your closet or office.

That is it.  You will be amazed how laser-focused you will be on achieving those goals.  Now, get to it!

Your Mission

Your Mission… should you choose to accept it is…

  1. to DECIDE what you truly want.
  2. SHOW UP every single day for yourself.
  3. Develop HABITS that will get you where you want to be.

First, and foremost, you have to OWN IT.  No one is making you do this. It is your choice.

Second, you must decide to BELIEVE IT.  If you want to weigh 140 pounds, stop living like a 190 pound person.  See yourself now as that 140 lb version. What choice would she make.

Third, begin to LIVE IT.  Experience life as the person you want to be every, single day.  It is all your choice. Make a habit of choosing your best life.