It’s 50/50

Someone said you should try to be happy all the time.  They were wrong.

Sometimes, you feel down, and that’s okay.  But, it is not an excuse.

Some parents try so hard to protect their children from ever being sad or hurt.  It leaves them unprepared.

Life is not rainbow and daisies and unicorns.  It is not realistic.

Emotions are 50/50.  Take the good with the bad.

Learn how to handle both.  Teach THAT to your children.

Schedule a FREE Mini Coaching Session

The Miracle

Suppose tonight, after you have gone to sleep, a miracles occurs without you knowing. Your problems gone.  When you awake tomorrow, what are some things that you notice happening in the day that might make you realize your problem is gone?

What things are absent?

What things are present?

Write them down.

Now, make a list of all the obstacles that stand between you and that future.

For each obstacle, write a strategy for how to overcome that particular thing.

Now, you have a game plan.  

Keep your list of obstacles and strategies with you where you can see it.

Refer to it often.

Make it happen.

Schedule a FREE Mini Coaching Session

The Weight Loss Stalker

He waits patiently. His window of opportunity is right around the corner.

He is smart. He knows just the right time to strike. He is the Weight Loss Stalker (AKA your primitive brain), and he is out to destroy your weight loss efforts.

He knows just when you are most vulnerable.  It’s that time of day when he starts his chatter. He is sneaky, manipulative, and very convincing. He will do whatever it takes to get his dopamine hit, and you will be the one to give it to him.

He keeps coming back every, single day – no matter what you try to do to get rid of him. He can’t get enough. He always wants more, more, more. There is no use in trying to avoid or resist. He will get you eventually. You will give him what he wants.  Unless

Yes! There is a way to stop him [suspenseful music playing]: your prefrontal cortex (PC brain) is the answer. Only your PC brain can choose your actions. The Weight Loss Stalker can’t. He can only try to control you with his clever manipulations. Your PC brain is the only one that can move your hand to pick up that food… and it is inclined to disagree with the Stalker.  You see, your PC brain wants you to achieve your goals, too. But, you have to listen to your PC brain over the Stalker’s rantings.

The primitive brain can cry and scream and throw a temper tantrum all it wants. But, the logical PC brain chooses our action. Sorry, ol’ cranky primitive brain. Not today. Today, we choose to stay on protocol and eat what we planned in advance.

When does the Weight Loss Stalker come looking for you?

Schedule a FREE Mini Coaching Session

Professor Prefrontal vs Caveman Primitive

We make 35,000 decisions a day.  They are made with two different parts of the brain: either the prefrontal cortex or your primitive brain. Can you guess which one should be “in charge” most of the time?

I think about my primitive brain as a caveman (or Thor in the Avengers: Endgame).  I call her the Caveman.

I think about my prefrontal cortex as the professor (or Thor in all of the other Avengers movies).  I call her the Professor.

  • Caveman just wants to keep us alive: always looking for danger.  She seeks pleasure, avoids pain, and conserves energy.
  • Professor uses her scientific method in decision making always reaching for our goals.
  • Caveman wants immediate gratification.
  • Professor wants to achieve the goal we set despite what is in front of us.
  • Caveman says we need to eat the donut right now (or we might die).
  • Professor says that donut won’t help us achieve anything.
  • Caveman is extremely verbal: all that chattering going on in your head is all her.  She is very persuasive. Never underestimate her. She can yell louder and longer, because she is very motivated by your survival.
  • Professor will state her case factually and expect you to make the correct decision. She doesn’t even here Caveman’s rattle.
  • For Caveman, every decision is urgent and frenzied, based on the moment.
  • For Professor, every decision is based on a plan for a future result.
  • Caveman is your urges.
  • Professor is your reasoning.

I love Caveman.  She does a great job of keeping me alive.  But, there just aren’t that many lions running the town these days.  She is more into sugar and flour – getting us the biggest dopamine hits she can find.  

I love Professor.  She keeps pushing me forward toward my goals, becoming better than I was yesterday.

These days, Caveman isn’t really serving me in the food department.  I need Professor’s emotionless viewpoint on food. She will get me where we want to be… in the ideal body.

Schedule a FREE Mini Coaching Session

Trust

I always thought trust was earned by another person.  Turns out I was wrong.

Trust is an emotion – felt by me.  If I feel trust for you, you can’t feel that.  Only I can.

Trust is not black & white.  I can choose to feel it a little, a lot, or not at all.  It is a spectrum, like any emotion.

Whether I trust you (or not) is based on how I choose to feel – not your actions.  Wait, what?!

Let’s say you are married.  You choose to trust your spouse.  It turns out, they were cheating on you.  You find out. You no longer trust your spouse now that you know.  But, you trusted them while they were cheating on you. It wasn’t their action that made you not trust them.  It was your thought about their cheating that created your trust (or lack thereof).

If you have a hard time trusting others, it is because of your beliefs about other people – not their actions.

If you wish you could trust people more, you can.  Right now. You can feel trust at any time.

I’m not saying you should trust every person or all the time… I’m just saying it is available to you. It is your choice and in your control 100%.

Trust me. 😉

Schedule a FREE Mini Coaching Session

Dream Crushers

We want more in life.  We have this desire, this need, to grow and do more.  Be more.

But, then something gets it our way.  That something is the very reason only 1% achieve that success so many of us crave.  Instead of dealing with that something, we choose safety and security.

We resist.  We react. We avoid.

They are called Dream Crushers. They are called uncomfortable emotions.

Fear

Doubt

Overwhelm

Frustration

Worry

Confusion

Embarrassment

Anxiety

Inadequacy

Why do they matter so much? How can this simple thing stop us from achieving our dreams?

We don’t like the way negative emotions feel.  We attempt to change them or avoid them. The three most common ways of dealing with these dream crushers are overeating, overdrinking, and overworking.  So, we stay stuck – getting no closer to our dreams.

But, that feeling or emotion is simply a vibration in your body that is caused by a thought.  Really. A feeling is simply a vibration, and nothing more.

Really think about that. Those dream crushers, those vibrations that you don’t want to feel, are what is standing between you and your dreams.

I’m ready to change how I think about these negative emotions.  Are you?

Schedule a FREE Mini Coaching Session

Comparison

I have never had what you might call a green thumb.  In fact, I have trouble keeping any plant alive.

Now, fake plants.  They are my jam. I can keep them alive, no problem.

So, when I planted bluebonnets seeds last fall, I didn’t hold my breath. But, yall! We have FIFTEEN bluebonnets.  I am so excited I can hardly stand it!

Now, here is the thing.  I look over into my neighbors’ yard, and they have an entire field of bluebonnets.  

If I compare my measly 15 to their field, I’m going to feel pretty crappy about those 15 beauties.  But, why would I do that?

Why would I compare my accomplishments to theirs?  Does that serve me in any way? No. So, I don’t do it.

I appreciate their ability to grow bluebonnets and enjoy the view.

I also compare my 15 bluebonnets to is when we lived at our last house.  I tried planting bluebonnets for years. The most I ever got to grow was seven.

Do you know what that means?  That means my 15 bluebonnets represent a 200% improvement over my last accomplishment. That is amazing!

In life, we always have a choice.  We can compare ourselves to others, or we can compare ourselves to ourselves.  

I think I’ll choose door #2.  

How about you?  What will you choose?

Schedule a FREE Mini Coaching Session

#Truth

My coach was sharing 5 pieces of wisdom.  

There was one sentence that really stuck out to me. “Tell yourself the truth,” she said.

So, I decided to take a closer look.

Why did this one sentence mean so much to me?

You see, I have always been a big believer in the truth. I’ve never liked being called a liar.  I find it offensive, really.

It turns out, I value truth above all else… for other people.

But, I didn’t respect myself enough to be honest with me.

It is funny that you can lie to yourself.  You would think that would be impossible.

After all, I can hear all of my own thoughts. But, I got good at lying to myself.  I could turn the volume way down on the truth and paint a prettier picture of reality in my brain.

Awareness is 90% of the battle.

So, I’m done with lying to myself.

If I’m going to eat that pizza, I’m going to eat it knowing I’m doing it to comfort myself… not because my son suggested it… not because I was STARVING… not because it was just on the way home.

Turns out, I’m not the only one who is masterful at lying to themselves.  Lots of us are really good at pulling the wool over our own eyes.

Here were my coach’s 5 pieces of advice:

  1. Don’t hide.
  2. Stay skeptical.
  3. Tell yourself the truth.
  4. Be brave.
  5. Have fun with this.

Which one speaks to you? Why?

Schedule a FREE Mini Coaching Session

Joy

This picture brings me so much joy my heart just wants to burst.  This is my amazing world.

This man in his pjs.

These two dogs.

This sunset.

This view.

The water… the colors… the quiet…. the calm.

And, there is me – behind the camera, sitting on the porch, reading a book, and taking it all in.

This is my heart, my joy.

I am so grateful.

Look around you.  See your joy. Soak it all in.

What are you grateful for?

My Busiest Week of the Year

This week, I am managing my time.  I am focusing on what need to get done – one step at a time.

I could give into overwhelm.  It is my busiest week of the school year.  I have 3 finals for school and 2 Field Days for my students.  Months of learning and planning will culminate in a few, short hours.

It’s a lot… on top of my already full days.  In the past, I was like a ticking time bomb. People avoided me until after it was all over.

But, this year, I’ve managed my mind… and my time:

  • I ask others to help me when I need it… instead of trying to do it all myself.
  • In my 30 minute lunch, I am eating and studying… instead of Facebooking.
  • Sitting in the pick up line at my son’s school, I am listening to my audiobooks & classes… instead of playing Candy Crush.
  • While donating plasma, I am reading my textbook… instead of watching a movie.
  • I am creating Heat Sheets while my students are practicing for Field Day events… the list could go on & on.

I am managing my time – even those few minutes here and there.

Don’t get me wrong… I still have downtime.  Because, it is on my calendar – scheduled… because, it is important.  Everything that is important is on there.

I am getting more done in the same 24 hours I’ve always had, and I’m not stressing over it.

On Friday, I will take a moment (or two) to appreciate how it all came together… and that I didn’t give in to overwhelm, spiraling out of control.

It is going to feel amazing.