It’s 50/50

Someone said you should try to be happy all the time.  They were wrong.

Sometimes, you feel down, and that’s okay.  But, it is not an excuse.

Some parents try so hard to protect their children from ever being sad or hurt.  It leaves them unprepared.

Life is not rainbow and daisies and unicorns.  It is not realistic.

Emotions are 50/50.  Take the good with the bad.

Learn how to handle both.  Teach THAT to your children.

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The Miracle

Suppose tonight, after you have gone to sleep, a miracles occurs without you knowing. Your problems gone.  When you awake tomorrow, what are some things that you notice happening in the day that might make you realize your problem is gone?

What things are absent?

What things are present?

Write them down.

Now, make a list of all the obstacles that stand between you and that future.

For each obstacle, write a strategy for how to overcome that particular thing.

Now, you have a game plan.  

Keep your list of obstacles and strategies with you where you can see it.

Refer to it often.

Make it happen.

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The Weight Loss Stalker

He waits patiently. His window of opportunity is right around the corner.

He is smart. He knows just the right time to strike. He is the Weight Loss Stalker (AKA your primitive brain), and he is out to destroy your weight loss efforts.

He knows just when you are most vulnerable.  It’s that time of day when he starts his chatter. He is sneaky, manipulative, and very convincing. He will do whatever it takes to get his dopamine hit, and you will be the one to give it to him.

He keeps coming back every, single day – no matter what you try to do to get rid of him. He can’t get enough. He always wants more, more, more. There is no use in trying to avoid or resist. He will get you eventually. You will give him what he wants.  Unless

Yes! There is a way to stop him [suspenseful music playing]: your prefrontal cortex (PC brain) is the answer. Only your PC brain can choose your actions. The Weight Loss Stalker can’t. He can only try to control you with his clever manipulations. Your PC brain is the only one that can move your hand to pick up that food… and it is inclined to disagree with the Stalker.  You see, your PC brain wants you to achieve your goals, too. But, you have to listen to your PC brain over the Stalker’s rantings.

The primitive brain can cry and scream and throw a temper tantrum all it wants. But, the logical PC brain chooses our action. Sorry, ol’ cranky primitive brain. Not today. Today, we choose to stay on protocol and eat what we planned in advance.

When does the Weight Loss Stalker come looking for you?

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Professor Prefrontal vs Caveman Primitive

We make 35,000 decisions a day.  They are made with two different parts of the brain: either the prefrontal cortex or your primitive brain. Can you guess which one should be “in charge” most of the time?

I think about my primitive brain as a caveman (or Thor in the Avengers: Endgame).  I call her the Caveman.

I think about my prefrontal cortex as the professor (or Thor in all of the other Avengers movies).  I call her the Professor.

  • Caveman just wants to keep us alive: always looking for danger.  She seeks pleasure, avoids pain, and conserves energy.
  • Professor uses her scientific method in decision making always reaching for our goals.
  • Caveman wants immediate gratification.
  • Professor wants to achieve the goal we set despite what is in front of us.
  • Caveman says we need to eat the donut right now (or we might die).
  • Professor says that donut won’t help us achieve anything.
  • Caveman is extremely verbal: all that chattering going on in your head is all her.  She is very persuasive. Never underestimate her. She can yell louder and longer, because she is very motivated by your survival.
  • Professor will state her case factually and expect you to make the correct decision. She doesn’t even here Caveman’s rattle.
  • For Caveman, every decision is urgent and frenzied, based on the moment.
  • For Professor, every decision is based on a plan for a future result.
  • Caveman is your urges.
  • Professor is your reasoning.

I love Caveman.  She does a great job of keeping me alive.  But, there just aren’t that many lions running the town these days.  She is more into sugar and flour – getting us the biggest dopamine hits she can find.  

I love Professor.  She keeps pushing me forward toward my goals, becoming better than I was yesterday.

These days, Caveman isn’t really serving me in the food department.  I need Professor’s emotionless viewpoint on food. She will get me where we want to be… in the ideal body.

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I always thought trust was earned by another person.  Turns out I was wrong.

Trust is an emotion – felt by me.  If I feel trust for you, you can’t feel that.  Only I can.

Trust is not black & white.  I can choose to feel it a little, a lot, or not at all.  It is a spectrum, like any emotion.

Whether I trust you (or not) is based on how I choose to feel – not your actions.  Wait, what?!

Let’s say you are married.  You choose to trust your spouse.  It turns out, they were cheating on you.  You find out. You no longer trust your spouse now that you know.  But, you trusted them while they were cheating on you. It wasn’t their action that made you not trust them.  It was your thought about their cheating that created your trust (or lack thereof).

If you have a hard time trusting others, it is because of your beliefs about other people – not their actions.

If you wish you could trust people more, you can.  Right now. You can feel trust at any time.

I’m not saying you should trust every person or all the time… I’m just saying it is available to you. It is your choice and in your control 100%.

Trust me. 😉

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Dream Crushers

We want more in life.  We have this desire, this need, to grow and do more.  Be more.

But, then something gets it our way.  That something is the very reason only 1% achieve that success so many of us crave.  Instead of dealing with that something, we choose safety and security.

We resist.  We react. We avoid.

They are called Dream Crushers. They are called uncomfortable emotions.










Why do they matter so much? How can this simple thing stop us from achieving our dreams?

We don’t like the way negative emotions feel.  We attempt to change them or avoid them. The three most common ways of dealing with these dream crushers are overeating, overdrinking, and overworking.  So, we stay stuck – getting no closer to our dreams.

But, that feeling or emotion is simply a vibration in your body that is caused by a thought.  Really. A feeling is simply a vibration, and nothing more.

Really think about that. Those dream crushers, those vibrations that you don’t want to feel, are what is standing between you and your dreams.

I’m ready to change how I think about these negative emotions.  Are you?

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I have never had what you might call a green thumb.  In fact, I have trouble keeping any plant alive.

Now, fake plants.  They are my jam. I can keep them alive, no problem.

So, when I planted bluebonnets seeds last fall, I didn’t hold my breath. But, yall! We have FIFTEEN bluebonnets.  I am so excited I can hardly stand it!

Now, here is the thing.  I look over into my neighbors’ yard, and they have an entire field of bluebonnets.  

If I compare my measly 15 to their field, I’m going to feel pretty crappy about those 15 beauties.  But, why would I do that?

Why would I compare my accomplishments to theirs?  Does that serve me in any way? No. So, I don’t do it.

I appreciate their ability to grow bluebonnets and enjoy the view.

I also compare my 15 bluebonnets to is when we lived at our last house.  I tried planting bluebonnets for years. The most I ever got to grow was seven.

Do you know what that means?  That means my 15 bluebonnets represent a 200% improvement over my last accomplishment. That is amazing!

In life, we always have a choice.  We can compare ourselves to others, or we can compare ourselves to ourselves.  

I think I’ll choose door #2.  

How about you?  What will you choose?

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My Year-end Review

Happy Birthday to Me!

I don’t normally reflect on my past.  What’s done is done.

I’m a forward momentum kinda girl.  But, this past year deserves a look back.

You see, this is the year I discovered Life Coaching.  It changed everything for me.

Most of the changes you can’t see.  They are on the inside.  But, you can feel them when you are around me.  I am full of happiness and hope, intent and focus.  I enjoy life every, single day.

Here are just a few things I have learned:

I can feel any emotion and be ok.  No emotion is too big. It is just a vibration in my body.

Overweight is caused by overeating which is caused by overhunger and overdesire.

My relationship with another person is all in my mind.  Their relationship with me is in theirs.

I can allow my desires unanswered without using willpower.

People pleasing = lying.  I don’t really want to do it, so I’m dishonest to say that I do.

Weight loss is 90% what I put in my mouth.

The low fat, low calorie, high exercise approach to losing weight doesn’t in the long run. The goal is to lower my insulin.

My past happened.  All I have now from it are my thoughts about it.   It doesn’t control my future.

It doesn’t matter if we all eat the same thing at dinner.

I no longer need to buffer my emotions with alcohol, food, or screen time.

Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.

I need to drop the “manuals” I have for other people.  They don’t follow them anyway.

I have found my purpose – to serve others by helping them achieve their goals.

I can love anyone unconditionally… especially myself.

If any of these resonated with you, just click here to ask me any questions you have. I’m here to help you reach your goals, too.

The Woman in the Mirror

It is time to LOVE yourself… Unconditionally… Just as you are right now.

We are told focusing on ourselves is wrong.  It is selfish. It is egocentric. We are supposed to be here to serve others. But, accepting yourself AS YOU ARE RIGHT NOW is not a sin. Accepting and loving yourself will only make you better. It is called self-respect.

Think about it.

How can we authentically serve others if we can’t even serve ourselves?

You have to give yourself to serve others.  How are you showing up?

Why are you hiding from yourself? What is it you are trying to bury?

Now, I want you to imagine what you could give to others if you truly loved yourself.

It is the key to unlocking what you desire. When you unconditionally love yourself, everything else will fall into place. Take a look in the mirror.

Take a step back.  You don’t see the beauty in you that others do.  They love you so much. They LOVE that person in the mirror.

Why have you stopped looking in the mirror?  Stop hiding. The rest of your people already see you as you are. They love you exactly how you are – flaws and all.  It is time to find out what they love so much.

Take a long, hard look in the mirror; learn to LOVE unconditionally. Tell yourself every day how amazing your are.  Yes, it will feel strange. But, keep doing it until you start to believe yourself.

Seriously, what if every time you walked past a mirror, you truly loved who you saw?  How amazing would that feel?

Imagine, then, what you would then be able to give to others?

It will be amazing.


If you want to dive deeper, click here to sign up for my weekly email where we take another look at this week’s lesson.


Are you in the game or sitting on the sidelines of your life?

The sideline is for resting and regrouping.

Then, it is time to get back in the game.

The sideline is a place to get help.

Then, it is time to get back in the game.

The sideline is a place for players who have been benched. The sidelines are full of them.

How long have you been sidelined?

It is time to get back in the game.

How can you make a difference on your team?