My Year-end Review

Happy Birthday to Me!

I don’t normally reflect on my past.  What’s done is done.

I’m a forward momentum kinda girl.  But, this past year deserves a look back.

You see, this is the year I discovered Life Coaching.  It changed everything for me.

Most of the changes you can’t see.  They are on the inside.  But, you can feel them when you are around me.  I am full of happiness and hope, intent and focus.  I enjoy life every, single day.


Here are just a few things I have learned:

I can feel any emotion and be ok.  No emotion is too big. It is just a vibration in my body.

Overweight is caused by overeating which is caused by overhunger and overdesire.

My relationship with another person is all in my mind.  Their relationship with me is in theirs.

I can allow my desires unanswered without using willpower.

People pleasing = lying.  I don’t really want to do it, so I’m dishonest to say that I do.

Weight loss is 90% what I put in my mouth.

The low fat, low calorie, high exercise approach to losing weight doesn’t in the long run. The goal is to lower my insulin.

My past happened.  All I have now from it are my thoughts about it.   It doesn’t control my future.

It doesn’t matter if we all eat the same thing at dinner.

I no longer need to buffer my emotions with alcohol, food, or screen time.

Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.

I need to drop the “manuals” I have for other people.  They don’t follow them anyway.

I have found my purpose – to serve others by helping them achieve their goals.

I can love anyone unconditionally… especially myself.


If any of these resonated with you, just click here to ask me any questions you have. I’m here to help you reach your goals, too.


The Woman in the Mirror

It is time to LOVE yourself… Unconditionally… Just as you are right now.

We are told focusing on ourselves is wrong.  It is selfish. It is egocentric. We are supposed to be here to serve others. But, accepting yourself AS YOU ARE RIGHT NOW is not a sin. Accepting and loving yourself will only make you better. It is called self-respect.

Think about it.

How can we authentically serve others if we can’t even serve ourselves?

You have to give yourself to serve others.  How are you showing up?

Why are you hiding from yourself? What is it you are trying to bury?

Now, I want you to imagine what you could give to others if you truly loved yourself.

It is the key to unlocking what you desire. When you unconditionally love yourself, everything else will fall into place. Take a look in the mirror.

Take a step back.  You don’t see the beauty in you that others do.  They love you so much. They LOVE that person in the mirror.

Why have you stopped looking in the mirror?  Stop hiding. The rest of your people already see you as you are. They love you exactly how you are – flaws and all.  It is time to find out what they love so much.

Take a long, hard look in the mirror; learn to LOVE unconditionally. Tell yourself every day how amazing your are.  Yes, it will feel strange. But, keep doing it until you start to believe yourself.

Seriously, what if every time you walked past a mirror, you truly loved who you saw?  How amazing would that feel?

Imagine, then, what you would then be able to give to others?

It will be amazing.

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If you want to dive deeper, click here to sign up for my weekly email where we take another look at this week’s lesson.

Sidelined

Are you in the game or sitting on the sidelines of your life?

The sideline is for resting and regrouping.

Then, it is time to get back in the game.

The sideline is a place to get help.

Then, it is time to get back in the game.

The sideline is a place for players who have been benched. The sidelines are full of them.

How long have you been sidelined?

It is time to get back in the game.

How can you make a difference on your team?

Goals

Have you made your goals for 2019?

No, I don’t mean the resolutions that so many have already quit on by now.  I mean your goals… what you are actually going to accomplish by the end of the year.

Either way, here is what you need to do.

  1. Write them down.
  2. Read them to yourself EVERY DAY. (You have to tell your brain what to focus on.  Otherwise, it will choose on it’s own. Supervise your brain.)
  3. Put your goals on 3×5 index cards, and read them at stoplights throughout the day.
  4. If you are into creativity, make a vision board.  Put it up where you will see it every day… like in your closet or office.

That is it.  You will be amazed how laser-focused you will be on achieving those goals.  Now, get to it!

Your Mission

Your Mission… should you choose to accept it is…

  1. to DECIDE what you truly want.
  2. SHOW UP every single day for yourself.
  3. Develop HABITS that will get you where you want to be.

First, and foremost, you have to OWN IT.  No one is making you do this. It is your choice.

Second, you must decide to BELIEVE IT.  If you want to weigh 140 pounds, stop living like a 190 pound person.  See yourself now as that 140 lb version. What choice would she make.

Third, begin to LIVE IT.  Experience life as the person you want to be every, single day.  It is all your choice. Make a habit of choosing your best life.

Insecure

I’ll have some turkey, with a side of Insecurity…

The holiday season is a joyful time for some and a stressful time for many.  

There are external pressures and expectations around this time of year.  

There are interactions with those that you have not seen in a long time. Whether or not they bring up your weight loss (or lack thereof), you are thinking about it.

How am I going to handle eating at parties?

How can I stay on protocol with all of these unknowns in my plans?

How am I still this fat? I swore to myself that by next Christmas, I would have lost it all… and here I am. I have spent a year losing the same 10 pounds over and over.

Why did she just ask me what diet I’m on now?  What is that supposed to mean?

I could go on and on… our insecurities blossom when our defenses are down.

It is time to stop.  Take a breath. Realize how truly far you have come this year.  Maybe the scale doesn’t show it. But, you do.

Today, celebrate your successes.  Leave your insecurities for your Thought Downloads later.  

Holiday Game: Turn it Around

Here is a fun, little holiday game to play!

So many of us struggle with relationships over the holidays.  Uncle Tom farts too much. Grandma Claire blows her nose at the dinner table.  Cousin John gets wasted and won’t stop arguing with the dog, and Susie can’t stop bragging about how magnificently perfect her two little brats are.  Ah, family… gotta love ‘em!

But, sometimes all of this nonsense can be a drag, and we find ourselves spiralling with negative thoughts about everyone and everything.  We turn into the Grinch often before we even step foot into their immaculate, perfectly decorated, festive home.

But, I digress… in these moments of holiday turmoil, play Turn it Around.

Take whatever nasty, unproductive thought you are having and turn it back on yourself.

I hate Uncle Fred’s temper…. I hate my temper.

Cousin Greg can’t get over the past…. I can’t get over the past.

Lindsey is so judgemental…. I am so judgemental.

Hhhmmmm…. I see where this is going.

Try it.  It can shed some light on some of your darkest thoughts.

Or… it can be really funny… I can’t stop bragging about how magnificently perfect my two little brats are.  L.O.L.

Have a magnificent holiday season!

Buffering

Let’s talk about Buffering. So many of us try to avoid our emotions with food or alcohol or Netflix. We give into the urges that we have.

We want to stop buffering. We try to stop by resisting the urges, which only makes them bigger. We try to distract ourselves or avoid it altogether. Again, our urges get stronger.

Those urges are coming from our primitive brain. It is like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery store – flailing on the floor and screaming at the top on it’s lungs until you give in.

To stop buffering, you have to ALLOW the urge with NO RESPONSE. You have to let your primitive brain have it’s fit until it is done. Most people feel like that urge is intolerable.

But, allowing an urge is a skill. You have to practice that skill to get good at it. Every time you allow the screaming fit with no response, the tantrums become less and farther in between.

You have to take a step back and just allow it. Witness it. Observe what is happening inside your primitive brain. Be curious about it.

But, here is the secret. Your primitive brain has a lot to say. But, it can’t do anything on it’s own. Only your prefrontal part of your brain can actually go get the donut or the wine.

So, bring those urges into your conscious brain, and make the decision to watch your primitive brain with fascination. It is the first huge step in changing your overdesire for good.

Failing

Failure is defined as not getting the results that were expected.

Failure is a skill.

We are not taught how to fail. It should be a lesson right up there with reading and math, because we all fail.

Failure is valuable. We learn to grow. We learn to become a better version of ourselves.

But, failure feels awful. We think we are supposed to be happy all the time. So, failure must be bad, right?

It’s not. Failure is a door opening on a new path in life.

Embrace failure. Learn from it.

Shadows of the Past

Most of us have something from our past that is difficult.  We still carry it around with us. Some of us feel like it is holding us back – so much that we feel our lives are limited by the experience.

Pain of the past is heavy.  It weighs us down. We allow our past to have such a strong grip on our present.

But, here is the thing.  Whatever happened in your past happened… in your past.  It is not part of your present. The circumstances of our past are done.  

The only parts that remain of that experience are our thoughts about what happened.  And, that is good news. Because, although we may not have been able to control circumstances in the past, we can control our thoughts now.

Are your thoughts about the past serving you?  Probably not.

We tend to see ourselves as victims in the present because of what we could not control in the past.  But, we don’t have to think about it that way any longer.

It is time to take your power back in your life. Write it all down.  Release all of the anger, resentment, sadness, hatred, hurt, pain… all of it.  Put it down on paper. Write down all of those things you wish you could have said… what you wish you could have done.  And, then, destroy the paper. This is just for you – no one else.

The events of the past are facts.  We can’t change them. (Honestly, I wouldn’t want to change my past.  It has made me so much stronger of a person today.)

We can leave the facts of the past behind, and change our thoughts to lift ourselves up.  We experienced things others couldn’t even understand. Use that strength to fuel a better world for yourself and others.

You deserve it.