Bare with me here… I’m on a bit of a rant today…
Do you know what I don’t like? Mean girls… make that mean women. Grown women acting like we are back in high school… The drama, fighting, and pettiness brings out my fight or flight instincts… and I’m a fighter. But, girls don’t throw punches. They are underhanded, manipulative, backstabbing. The funny thing is, it is so obvious to me what is happening. Do these women actually think the rest of us don’t see through it all?
I innocently happened upon such a group of women recently. It is a battle of “be my friend, not hers”. It is a lot of… I’m going to butter you up and say nice things to you. But, my real intention is to pull you to my side and make you hate her. She is bad. She is evil. O.M.G.
THIS is why I have very few women friends. If you open the circle up too wide, you step in a whole lot of control and manipulation. It will ruin your favorite pair of shoes.
But, here is the thing… your relationship with anyone is dependent on your thoughts about them. Have any of these women told me “I am being mean to her intentionally,” or “I am trying to control and manipulate you,”? No! All of this is my thoughts about how these women are acting. The only reason I recognize these behaviors as “mean girl” behaviors is I have experience with them (on both sides of the coin). My thoughts are coming from my own experience.
And, as Wayne Dyer points out, we attract the energy we are putting out into the universe. Hhmmmm… need to do a self-check here.
Guess what. Adults get to do whatever they want to do. They can be mean girls if they want to be. Don’t try to control them, either. Adults don’t like that (check with yourself… you don’t like to be controlled and manipulated, do you?).
Here is what you are responsible for… you. That’s it. If you don’t like the way someone is acting, leave. If you are in an environment where leaving is not a choice, don’t interact with that individual. You only have to take care of you. Stay in your business.
I always find it easier for me in these situations to be curious about why someone would be so mean, coercive, or flat out cruel. It takes me out of the equation… which takes away my desire to be the Queen Bee Mean Girl – putting said offender in their place. People who act this way are always defensive (that is my thought on the matter based on my experiences). I wonder what is going so wrong in their lives that they feel the need to lash out at others.
I am trying to just love them as humans. They are people… and they were simply nice people in my mind last week – before I knew of the underhanded drama. So, I am choosing to love of them while keeping my distance. I don’t do drama any more.