The Miracle

Suppose tonight, after you have gone to sleep, a miracles occurs without you knowing. Your problems gone.  When you awake tomorrow, what are some things that you notice happening in the day that might make you realize your problem is gone?

What things are absent?

What things are present?

Write them down.

Now, make a list of all the obstacles that stand between you and that future.

For each obstacle, write a strategy for how to overcome that particular thing.

Now, you have a game plan.  

Keep your list of obstacles and strategies with you where you can see it.

Refer to it often.

Make it happen.

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The Weight Loss Stalker

He waits patiently. His window of opportunity is right around the corner.

He is smart. He knows just the right time to strike. He is the Weight Loss Stalker (AKA your primitive brain), and he is out to destroy your weight loss efforts.

He knows just when you are most vulnerable.  It’s that time of day when he starts his chatter. He is sneaky, manipulative, and very convincing. He will do whatever it takes to get his dopamine hit, and you will be the one to give it to him.

He keeps coming back every, single day – no matter what you try to do to get rid of him. He can’t get enough. He always wants more, more, more. There is no use in trying to avoid or resist. He will get you eventually. You will give him what he wants.  Unless

Yes! There is a way to stop him [suspenseful music playing]: your prefrontal cortex (PC brain) is the answer. Only your PC brain can choose your actions. The Weight Loss Stalker can’t. He can only try to control you with his clever manipulations. Your PC brain is the only one that can move your hand to pick up that food… and it is inclined to disagree with the Stalker.  You see, your PC brain wants you to achieve your goals, too. But, you have to listen to your PC brain over the Stalker’s rantings.

The primitive brain can cry and scream and throw a temper tantrum all it wants. But, the logical PC brain chooses our action. Sorry, ol’ cranky primitive brain. Not today. Today, we choose to stay on protocol and eat what we planned in advance.

When does the Weight Loss Stalker come looking for you?

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Professor Prefrontal vs Caveman Primitive

We make 35,000 decisions a day.  They are made with two different parts of the brain: either the prefrontal cortex or your primitive brain. Can you guess which one should be “in charge” most of the time?

I think about my primitive brain as a caveman (or Thor in the Avengers: Endgame).  I call her the Caveman.

I think about my prefrontal cortex as the professor (or Thor in all of the other Avengers movies).  I call her the Professor.

  • Caveman just wants to keep us alive: always looking for danger.  She seeks pleasure, avoids pain, and conserves energy.
  • Professor uses her scientific method in decision making always reaching for our goals.
  • Caveman wants immediate gratification.
  • Professor wants to achieve the goal we set despite what is in front of us.
  • Caveman says we need to eat the donut right now (or we might die).
  • Professor says that donut won’t help us achieve anything.
  • Caveman is extremely verbal: all that chattering going on in your head is all her.  She is very persuasive. Never underestimate her. She can yell louder and longer, because she is very motivated by your survival.
  • Professor will state her case factually and expect you to make the correct decision. She doesn’t even here Caveman’s rattle.
  • For Caveman, every decision is urgent and frenzied, based on the moment.
  • For Professor, every decision is based on a plan for a future result.
  • Caveman is your urges.
  • Professor is your reasoning.

I love Caveman.  She does a great job of keeping me alive.  But, there just aren’t that many lions running the town these days.  She is more into sugar and flour – getting us the biggest dopamine hits she can find.  

I love Professor.  She keeps pushing me forward toward my goals, becoming better than I was yesterday.

These days, Caveman isn’t really serving me in the food department.  I need Professor’s emotionless viewpoint on food. She will get me where we want to be… in the ideal body.

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Trust

I always thought trust was earned by another person.  Turns out I was wrong.

Trust is an emotion – felt by me.  If I feel trust for you, you can’t feel that.  Only I can.

Trust is not black & white.  I can choose to feel it a little, a lot, or not at all.  It is a spectrum, like any emotion.

Whether I trust you (or not) is based on how I choose to feel – not your actions.  Wait, what?!

Let’s say you are married.  You choose to trust your spouse.  It turns out, they were cheating on you.  You find out. You no longer trust your spouse now that you know.  But, you trusted them while they were cheating on you. It wasn’t their action that made you not trust them.  It was your thought about their cheating that created your trust (or lack thereof).

If you have a hard time trusting others, it is because of your beliefs about other people – not their actions.

If you wish you could trust people more, you can.  Right now. You can feel trust at any time.

I’m not saying you should trust every person or all the time… I’m just saying it is available to you. It is your choice and in your control 100%.

Trust me. 😉

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My Year-end Review

Happy Birthday to Me!

I don’t normally reflect on my past.  What’s done is done.

I’m a forward momentum kinda girl.  But, this past year deserves a look back.

You see, this is the year I discovered Life Coaching.  It changed everything for me.

Most of the changes you can’t see.  They are on the inside.  But, you can feel them when you are around me.  I am full of happiness and hope, intent and focus.  I enjoy life every, single day.


Here are just a few things I have learned:

I can feel any emotion and be ok.  No emotion is too big. It is just a vibration in my body.

Overweight is caused by overeating which is caused by overhunger and overdesire.

My relationship with another person is all in my mind.  Their relationship with me is in theirs.

I can allow my desires unanswered without using willpower.

People pleasing = lying.  I don’t really want to do it, so I’m dishonest to say that I do.

Weight loss is 90% what I put in my mouth.

The low fat, low calorie, high exercise approach to losing weight doesn’t in the long run. The goal is to lower my insulin.

My past happened.  All I have now from it are my thoughts about it.   It doesn’t control my future.

It doesn’t matter if we all eat the same thing at dinner.

I no longer need to buffer my emotions with alcohol, food, or screen time.

Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.

I need to drop the “manuals” I have for other people.  They don’t follow them anyway.

I have found my purpose – to serve others by helping them achieve their goals.

I can love anyone unconditionally… especially myself.


If any of these resonated with you, just click here to ask me any questions you have. I’m here to help you reach your goals, too.


Sidelined

Are you in the game or sitting on the sidelines of your life?

The sideline is for resting and regrouping.

Then, it is time to get back in the game.

The sideline is a place to get help.

Then, it is time to get back in the game.

The sideline is a place for players who have been benched. The sidelines are full of them.

How long have you been sidelined?

It is time to get back in the game.

How can you make a difference on your team?

Goals

Have you made your goals for 2019?

No, I don’t mean the resolutions that so many have already quit on by now.  I mean your goals… what you are actually going to accomplish by the end of the year.

Either way, here is what you need to do.

  1. Write them down.
  2. Read them to yourself EVERY DAY. (You have to tell your brain what to focus on.  Otherwise, it will choose on it’s own. Supervise your brain.)
  3. Put your goals on 3×5 index cards, and read them at stoplights throughout the day.
  4. If you are into creativity, make a vision board.  Put it up where you will see it every day… like in your closet or office.

That is it.  You will be amazed how laser-focused you will be on achieving those goals.  Now, get to it!

Your Mission

Your Mission… should you choose to accept it is…

  1. to DECIDE what you truly want.
  2. SHOW UP every single day for yourself.
  3. Develop HABITS that will get you where you want to be.

First, and foremost, you have to OWN IT.  No one is making you do this. It is your choice.

Second, you must decide to BELIEVE IT.  If you want to weigh 140 pounds, stop living like a 190 pound person.  See yourself now as that 140 lb version. What choice would she make.

Third, begin to LIVE IT.  Experience life as the person you want to be every, single day.  It is all your choice. Make a habit of choosing your best life.

Insecure

I’ll have some turkey, with a side of Insecurity…

The holiday season is a joyful time for some and a stressful time for many.  

There are external pressures and expectations around this time of year.  

There are interactions with those that you have not seen in a long time. Whether or not they bring up your weight loss (or lack thereof), you are thinking about it.

How am I going to handle eating at parties?

How can I stay on protocol with all of these unknowns in my plans?

How am I still this fat? I swore to myself that by next Christmas, I would have lost it all… and here I am. I have spent a year losing the same 10 pounds over and over.

Why did she just ask me what diet I’m on now?  What is that supposed to mean?

I could go on and on… our insecurities blossom when our defenses are down.

It is time to stop.  Take a breath. Realize how truly far you have come this year.  Maybe the scale doesn’t show it. But, you do.

Today, celebrate your successes.  Leave your insecurities for your Thought Downloads later.  

Holiday Game: Turn it Around

Here is a fun, little holiday game to play!

So many of us struggle with relationships over the holidays.  Uncle Tom farts too much. Grandma Claire blows her nose at the dinner table.  Cousin John gets wasted and won’t stop arguing with the dog, and Susie can’t stop bragging about how magnificently perfect her two little brats are.  Ah, family… gotta love ‘em!

But, sometimes all of this nonsense can be a drag, and we find ourselves spiralling with negative thoughts about everyone and everything.  We turn into the Grinch often before we even step foot into their immaculate, perfectly decorated, festive home.

But, I digress… in these moments of holiday turmoil, play Turn it Around.

Take whatever nasty, unproductive thought you are having and turn it back on yourself.

I hate Uncle Fred’s temper…. I hate my temper.

Cousin Greg can’t get over the past…. I can’t get over the past.

Lindsey is so judgemental…. I am so judgemental.

Hhhmmmm…. I see where this is going.

Try it.  It can shed some light on some of your darkest thoughts.

Or… it can be really funny… I can’t stop bragging about how magnificently perfect my two little brats are.  L.O.L.

Have a magnificent holiday season!