I am strong.
I am smart.
I know more about how our minds work than most people on the planet.
I am human.
Sometimes, I need help figuring out my own stuff.
And, that’s ok.
I can’t always see it when it is happening in my own brain.
So, I have a coach to help me see it.
Life isn’t perfect.
Life isn’t easy.
Life is 50/50. It’s half positive and half negative.
I make great choices.
I make bad choices.
And, that’s ok.
I am human.
It’s life, and I’m doing the best I can.
The fun part is… I am pushing myself to do things I never thought I could do.
That is where the adventure is… the struggle… outside of my comfort zone.
Are you ready to push yourself beyond your comfort zone?
Or, will you settle for your comfort zone?
I can help you see how your thoughts affect you.
It’s ok to ask for help.
Let me know when you are ready.Schedule a FREE Mini Coaching Session
Do you spend more money than you have in your checking account?
Do you eat more calories in a day than your body needs for fuel?
Do you drink beyond social or legal limits?
Do you have no time to get things done but are up to date on your Netflix shows?
If you said yes to any of these, you are living beyond your means. I know I am in more than one area.
We live in a world of excess and taught that more is better. Instant gratification has become the name of the game.
If you are okay with going into debt, gaining weight, feeling like crap the morning after, or being stressed about your to do list… then keep right on living beyond!
But, if you are tired of the symptoms created by your overindulgence, then follow these steps.
- Become aware of what you are doing. (That alone is half the battle). Most of us are wandering in a daze when it comes to where we are overindulging.
- Realize you are falling for instant gratification only to suffer the pain later (interest rates, clothes don’t fit, hangovers, or stress over no time).
- If you really want to change, you are going to have to get out of your comfort zone. It won’t feel good in the moment, because your brain likes to keep it all status quo.
- Consider each decision: give yourself two choices. Which is the choice you really want to make?
You can change one decision at a time.
You can change your outlook on life just by getting on a FREE consult with me.
Just click the link to schedule yours now: https://attiecalistodesign.as.me/free-mini-session
I watched a client go through heartbreak last week.
It was hard to watch and see, but she did it so eloquently – without even realizing it.
I just had to share it with you.
This client was anticipating getting a position that she has wanted for a year now.
She and her coworkers all believed that she was the perfect candidate.
Her interview went well, and she felt confident.
Friday, she found out she didn’t get the position.
She was heartbroken.
She knew she would be.
She had to leave work a little early.
Because, she knew once the tears started, they wouldn’t stop.
And, they didn’t.
For hours, she cried… in her room, at home, alone.
She mourned the loss and disappointment she felt.
She didn’t hold any emotions back.
She felt them through and through.
It felt terrible.
Once she was done, she was done.
She was appreciative for what she did have.
She loved that her coworkers supported her.
She didn’t blame the coworker that got the position. It wasn’t her fault.
She still believed she would have been the best candidate.
But, she has no regrets.
My client put herself out there and took a chance.
It was scary.
She did all that she could do.
She was truly heartbroken, and she experienced those emotions.
She did not try to shove those emotions down or blame others for her outcome.
She accepted the reality of what is, she felt the pain of it, and she moved forward.
It was truly eloquent.
If only all of us could process our emotions so well…
Instead of blaming others.
Instead of eating to numb ourselves.
Instead of drinking to wash away the pain.
Instead of vegging out on Netflix.
Instead of beating ourselves up for not being good enough.
What if we just felt the pain for as long as it took?
Most of us are fortunate enough in our lives to have people that love us… no matter what we do.
But, what about you?
Do you love you?
I thought I loved me.
I thought I treated myself with compassion… until I met with my coach the other day.
She pointed out the mean things I was saying about myself…
the eye rolls when talking about how I messed up…
the negative language I used to talk about myself.
Y’all, I am not very nice to me.
It took my coach to point it out to me so that I could see it, too.
Understand that I do not like sharing this with you.
I’m way too vulnerable at this moment.
But, if you can be helped by my discovery, I’m all in.
You see, I can love the hell out of you.
I accept that you have stuff to deal with.
I have compassion for you.
I flat out think you are amazing, valuable, and worthy of love.
So, why is it so hard for me to feel that way about me?
Maybe because I’ve been fighting with myself since I was about 14… never good enough.
It doesn’t really matter how I got here.
It is where I am.
…and, I just want to change it.
Now, about the how.
How do I learn to love myself?
With lots and lots of practice… and awareness.
***I have a feeling this might take a while.
But, every time I catch myself putting myself down for a decision, I will turn it around.
I will change that thought into a loving and accepting one.
The hardest part for me is the awareness.
I am totally willing to love me, but those negative thoughts are sneaky.
My brain is trained to think them.
I need to unlearn that behavior and retrain my brain with love and compassion.
So, here I go… with humility and compassion.
***Ha! I caught this one. It might not take long at all. This statement is just more of me thinking I’m not capable… My new thought: I will succeed no matter how long it takes.
There. That feels much better.
I want to be proud of myself.
How do I do that?
All I have to do is follow through on the commitments I make to myself.
I plan the decisions ahead of time with my prefrontal cortex (that “adulting” part of my brain).
But, in the moment, I conveniently forget.
I allow my toddler brain to take over.
My toddler would much rather have instant gratification than meet my long term goals.
In the moment, there is no rational thinking once I let my toddler brain run the show.
And, I’ve been letting that happen for so long, the neural pathways have been formed well from much repetition.
Make a plan. In the moment, break the plan. Feel good in the moment. Beat myself up over breaking the plan later. Repeat.
I am tired of being disappointed in myself and being a victim to my own thoughts.
Do you know who can change the cycle?
Yep, me. Just me.
My reason to change has to be bigger and stronger than the desire of the moment.
It takes practice – lots of it.
It takes going through being uncomfortable and doing things I don’t want to do.
Then, I need to acknowledge , recognize, and celebrate every time I am successful in meeting my commitment.
I have to love myself all the way to my goal instead of tearing myself down when I stumble.
After all, we all make mistakes.
Decide ahead of time. Practice. Focus on success. Be proud. Repeat.
Keep doing this until it is all that I do.
I will be proud of me.
When something isn’t working…
When we aren’t reaching our goals…
We look outside of ourselves for the answer… a solution.
We look for a… a new diet plan, a new drinking plan, a new anything to make us be successful.
But, you already have everything you need.
All you need is you.
You have the answers.
You know what you need to do.
Life is not happening to you. You are making choices…
You choose to think it… you choose to feel it… you choose to do it.
You are choosing your mindset, feelings, and actions every minute.
Here is the good news.
You can change it all, or you can keep it all.
You can change who you are and what you are doing in seconds.
But, here is the problem.
Your primitive brain doesn’t like change.
It makes change very hard.
Because, back in the day, “leaving the cave” was dangerous.
And, that is ok. Your primitive brain is just doing its job… seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, and conserving energy.
If you ever run into a tiger walking down the street, your primitive brain has got you.
But, if you don’t want to eat the donut, don’t want to drink the margarita, or do want to go to the gym, you are going to have to explain to your primitive brain that it will be ok. We will survive (and get better).
Here is a very important piece of advice.
Only try changing ONE thing this week.
Practice it over and over and over.
You CAN make the changes to reach your goals.
You have everything you need. You just need you.
Quit looking outside of yourself for the answers.
The solution is within you.
Willful blindness is a term used in legal proceedings meaning conscious avoidance.
It means to ignore what is right in front of you.
It is refusing to look at what can be seen.
Willful blindness happens to us all… especially when it comes to our own minds.
We don’t want to see why we eat so much.
We don’t want to see why we yell at the ones we love the most.
We don’t want to see why we drink too much.
We don’t want to see… because, it will probably be painful.
There is no room in your world for willful blindness.
You can never move forward.
You can never grow.
You stay stuck in blissful ignorance.
It is okay to be wrong.
Open your mind. See what is right in front of you.
Question everything you believe.
Ask yourself, “How am I wrong about that?”
Ask yourself every single time you choose to ignore what is hiding beneath the surface.
If there is something to be seen, you must look.
You won’t regret it.
Don’t some drivers just make you crazy?!
Yeah, me too…
…except that one little fact that other people can’t MAKE me feel anything.
…I’m the only one feeling the frustration. I want them to suffer from their poor driving, too.
But, they just keep on
- Singing away
- Putting on makeup
- Picking their nose.
They don’t even notice how frustrated I am with them.
Because, they are not caught up in this whole line of thought that is going on in my head.
Only my thoughts about others’ driving can MAKE me feel that frustration (or anything else).
The way other people drive is simply a fact in life.
It is reality.
I can’t control it.
It is neutral.
Well, until I make it not neutral with my thoughts.
And, as I’m sure you already know, getting mad at other drivers does not serve me or you in any way.
Who knows? Maybe you are that same infuriating, clueless driver for someone else.
What?! Me?! Never….
So, the next time you are in rush hour traffic, remember that only your thoughts control how you feel.
You are the only one in charge of you.
Leave the other people to deal with their own stuff.