You are NOT Broken

There are 3 essential things I need you to know:

  1. You are NOT broken.
  2. NOTHING is wrong with you.
  3. You can do it.

Stop blaming yourself and beating yourself up for not reaching your goal.

You just haven’t reached it yet…

When you take away all of the lies your brain is telling you, you are just left with a habit that needs to be changed.

It may be getting rid of an old habit.

It may be creating a new habit.

It may be both.

There is no drama to it, just data.


To set a goal…

  • Write down where you are now.  Write down where you want to be.
  • List all the obstacles in your way.
  • Write a solution for each of the obstacles listed.
  • Set your intention (write down your goal statement).
    • Make is something you can measure with data.
    • Give yourself a deadline to complete your goal.

Now, break your goal down…

  • Let’s assume you set a one year goal (but it can be more or less).
  • Write down:
    • What are you going to do to get closer to your goal this MONTH?
    • What are you going to do to get closer to your goal this WEEK?
    • What are you going to do to get closer to your goal TODAY?
  • At the end of each week, evaluate your results.
    • Did you reach your weekly goal?
    • What worked?
    • What didn’t work?
    • What will you do differently for next week?
  • Repeat evaluations at the end of the month as well.


Remember, it is just data.  

Don’t let your brain tell you otherwise.  

You’ve got this.

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Organize Your Mind

There are so many ideas out there about losing weight.

  • No sugar, no flour
  • Food Journals
  • Intermittent fasting
  • Keto
  • Counting Macros
  • Counting Points
  • Counting Calories
  • Paleo
  • Shakes
  • Bars
  • … and endless advice on which foods are good for you and which are not (that has changed back and forth over the years).

I, for one, am overwhelmed.

But, the truth is… they all work… as long as you keep eating that way for the rest of your life.

For me, that takes most of them off the table.

We can listen to all the advice. But, in the end, each one of us has to figure out what works for our lives.

So, how do we organize all of this information in our brains without being overwhelmed?

Good news…

My coach, Brooke Castillo, has given me a process to organize my thoughts, and I want to share it with you.

It is a simple, yet effective process.


  1. Become aware of the thought.
  2. Ask three questions  – then make a decision. Do you intentionally keep that thought or let it go?
    1. Is this thought serving me?
    2. Do I really want it?
    3. Is this thought current or outdated?
  3. Say goodbye to the thoughts you don’t want.
  4. Create what you do want.

That’s it.  Writing it all down, of course, helps you to work through it all.

Who knows… maybe after you get your thoughts organized, you will be ready to organize that closet you’ve been ignoring.

Happy organizing, my friend!

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Where Are You?

The most common mistake we make when trying to lose weight is to fall into “diet mentality”. 

It is almost second nature to me.  If I want to lose weight, I do some drastic diet for a limited time – white knuckling my way through.

And, it works!

Until I go back to eating the same way as I did before.  Then, the weight just comes back (and brings a few extra pounds along for the ride).

To lose the weight AND KEEP IT OFF, you can’t resort to “diet mentality”.  

You have to change the way you think about food.

But, more importantly…. you have to start where you are.

If you are eating out 5 days a week for lunch, it is not a realistic plan to think you can switch to salads every single day for lunch.

Start where you are, and then make small changes. Maybe eat out only 3 days a week, and bring your lunch 2 days.

If you eat an entire sleeve of your favorite cookies every time you open a box, it is not a realistic plan to think you can eat just one.

Start where you are, and then make small changes.  Maybe pull 5 cookies out this time, and put the rest away.

If you snack before you go to bed every night, it is not a realistic plan to think you can just stop overnight.

Start where you are, and then make small changes.  Maybe eat only half of what you would normally eat each night.

Start where you are.

Make a realistic plan for yourself.

Changing habits takes time.  But, changed habits last for a lifetime.

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Endings

Endings are hard.

I’ve been going through a rigorous class with a group of 10 other women.

Some of us have become friends.

All of us have formed a bond.

We have had a month of “lasts”.

Tomorrow is graduation.

We are done.

The strings have been cut, and it is time to fly or fall.

I will miss these ladies.

I will still cheer them on from afar.

Endings are hard.

I don’t want to say goodbye.

But, we must move forward.

I am grateful for our shared experiences.

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Commit

The more I coach people, the more I see a pattern.

We aren’t committing to ourselves.

We say we will, then we don’t.

Would you go back on your word to your best friend? Your spouse? Your mom?

Why would you not commit to yourself?

You are worth your time.

You are worth your respect.

You are worth it.

Wanting it won’t make it happen.

Shaming yourself can only work temporarily.

You must commit to love yourself.

You must commit to action.

You must commit to take action from a place of compassion and respect for yourself.

When you believe you are worth it, the commitment to reach your goal will be non-negotiable.

Give yourself 30 days.  Commit to yourself.

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The Road You Take

Which path do you want to take in your life? 

You have 3 choices:

  1. The exciting, fast, and easy one?
  2. The simple, calming, easy one?
  3. The hard, frustrating one?

Path #1 – The exciting, fast, and easy path

This path is a waterslide.  It gets you to the destination quickly.  You get a temporary high in your brain during the ride.  Sometimes, the turns are too fast. Or the path is too bumpy.  It isn’t always a thrill. Sometimes, it is scary. This path leads you to the bottom… and fast.

Path #2 – The simple, calming, easy path

This path is an escalator.  It is a slow ride. Nothing much changes.  The lights and music are not too bright or too loud.  It is comfortable here. You can rarely see the end, but you catch a glimpse once in a while and wonder if this is really the path you should be on. In the end, you will find yourself at the bottom.  That is not what you intended, and you aren’t even quite sure how you got there.

Path #3 – The hard, frustrating path

This path is an upward climb of the stairs in the forest.  The steps aren’t always stable or level. This path takes a lot of work, and it is a difficult climb.  Sometimes, you fall. Many times, you wish you could just go back to the easier path. This path is frustrating and even scary; you are dealing with the elements and listening to the unfamiliar noises surrounding you. This path leads you to the top.

There are exit ramps from all 3 of these paths.  

You can jump on whichever one you choose whenever you choose.

There are 3 destinations: the top, the bottom, and somewhere in between.

The question is, where do you want to end up?

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You Can Do All of the Things

You can do all of the things.

No really.  You are capable. 

You can get any result you want.

There is only one thing standing in your way.

Your brain.

You are working against the evolution of your primitive brain.

It works very hard to keep you safe.

  • Seek pleasure.
  • Avoid pain.
  • Conserve energy.

Your primitive brain says any change is dangerous and should be avoided.

It keeps you at status quo.

Then, there is your prefrontal cortex… the part of your brain that allows your goals to be conceived in the first place.

But, even it is working against you.

  • It is operating on solid neural pathways created by your habits.
  • Every time you try to change, it takes maximum effort and brain power.
  • It is like trying to drive in sand.  Those deep ruts keep pulling you back even though you are trying to drive a different direction.
  • Pavlov’s dogs created new neural pathways.  You can, too.
  • Change is hard.

It is time to create the change you want.

Reprogram your brain.

Decondition yourself.

Change.

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A Few Words of Encouragement

I have a really big day coming up in my life… you know, the kind that could change everything or nothing at all…. That kind that puts butterflies in your stomach and a rock on your chest.

So, whatever you have going on this week, I’ve decided we all need some encouragement.

So, this is for you… and for me… today… and everyday after.  Let’s make it happen.

Think about your goal.

You want it so bad it hurts.

Take that step of faith.

You welcome the fear and discomfort.  It means you are right on track.

Imagine yourself in that space.

Nothing can stop you.

Every moment is your responsibility.

You have the capability.  
You have the commitment.  
Be courageous.
Be confident.

You are beautiful.

You are kind.

You are smart.

This is your next step on your journey.

It is important to you. You will make it happen.

It is meant to be.

Today is the day. It is the only day that matters.

Remember, no matter the outcome… everything is happening just as it should.

Let the butterflies free.  Take the rock off and add it to your collection. 

Show them who you are and what you came to do.

Believe. In. You.

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Be Kind

Would you ever say… 

You are  fat. … to your sister?

You are  lazy. … to your mother?

You are a failure. … to your daughter?

You are gross. … to your spouse?

You are stupid. … to your boss?

You are terrible at this. … to your son?

I hate you. … to your best friend?

Then, stop saying these things to yourself.

You can’t beat yourself into accomplishing your goals.

You have to love yourself into accomplishing your goals.

Stop degrading yourself.

Stop disrespecting yourself.

You matter.

You can be whatever you want to be.

But, you have to talk to yourself like you are worthy of your respect.

You light up others with your smile and presence alone.

Give yourself what you give them.

Compassion.

Much love to you.

Think about:

Where do you have work to do?

Who hopes you will get to work soon?

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Past, Present, or Future?

Where are you living your life?

You have 3 choices:

  • You can live for the past.  
    • “It was better when… [we didn’t fight so much, we had more money, I was skinny, I worked at that company, I had the perfect…].” 
    • “I have never been able to do it in the past.”
    • If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same results.
    • You talk about past journeys.
    • Today can never live up to how it might of been.
  • You can live for that day in the future.   
    • “One day, when I…[make more money, lose all the weight, find the right partner, have children, have the perfect…], I’ll be happy.”  
    • “I will start again Monday.”
    • “I make lots of goals.  But, I forget about them.  So, I make new ones.”
    • Your focus is on the destination, not the journey.
    • Today can never live up to how it will be in the future.
  • You can live for right now in the present.
    • “I’m going to [eat, say, do, be…] this right now.”
    • I choose every thought, every feeling, and every action for myself.
    • You engage in your journey.
    • Today is where all the action takes place, and it can propel you forward or hold you back.

The truth is, you need a combination of all three:

You need to learn from your past.  Then, let it go, and move on.  It doesn’t define you.

You need to look to your future by setting goals.  You need to map out the route you want your life to take.

You need to live in the present.  You can’t [get the job, lose the weight, find the partner, make the money, etc…] without action today.

Every decision you make today moves you toward your goals or further away from them.

You have to live and act in the present to achieve those goals you’ve set for the future and make today better than yesterday.  

Be present in your life every minute of every day.  

Because, you won’t get those minutes back.

Today won’t necessarily be better than yesterday and it won’t necessarily be better than tomorrow.  

But, today is all you have right now.

Learn from your past, lean toward your future, and live in the moment.

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